You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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