That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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