Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
