The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
