I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
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oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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