Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
