It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
