so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the condom got lost in my hair
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
