Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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