I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You dont lie about slip and slides
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
