how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
