how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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