Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
