I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
