You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
