she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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