I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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