Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
