wrigley field is MILF paradise
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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