This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
