I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
