Is it because I queefed?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
