He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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