sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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