At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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