i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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