you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
