So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
