imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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