yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
