Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
