"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
