Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
