yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
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call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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