Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Drunk is not a location!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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