i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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