can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize