Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
