I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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