A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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