I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
