Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
