so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
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i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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