i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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