Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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