She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
God, I missed his penis.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
