let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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