Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
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"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
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I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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