I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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