I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
