my mouth tastes like poor choices
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
