Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
