I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
