Well apparently he's into motor boating.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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