surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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