Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
