i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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