fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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