operation harelip BJ is a go
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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