I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize