She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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