We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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