He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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