Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
