You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
